how do i plead

my heart beats in the heat

in the courtroom silence

with hands tied

in the cool metal of handcuffs

the past echoes around me

at the stand and in my memories

i still hear the ringing of his screams

—The choice was quick.

overhauling emotions

heaving breaths & humid air

there was ruby-red blood

then trembling fingers on a phone

nine-one-one

handcuffs

orange attire

the eyes of the jury judging

my lawyer, with notes & paperwork

& my grief bottled up

with so much spite for a someone

with a love that could’ve been shared

a love i ended

the stand is waiting for me to confess

wanting to know if I am a villain

serial raged with a thirst for blood

i have been bleeding fear

dripping from my bones & body

losing my internal warmth

 —I was never going to be ready.

yet the room was waiting for my answer

to know my thoughts before the fall of it all

 There was a choice & in the rushing heat 

I chose my life

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